Music and Vision homepage 'Elgar and Chivalry' by Robert Anderson - available now from Elgar.org

 

Ask Alice, with Alice McVeigh

On the sudden and unexpected return of the arch-enemy
of classical music agony aunt ALICE McVEIGH

Ask Alice

Dear Alice,

You thought he was such a nice man, didn't you? Called up to apologise for the nice Isle of Wight piano tuner, too old to make the trip? Said he was from Petts Wood, pleasant manner, agreeable voice.

Hamburg Steinway D274

So you booked him to tune the piano, apologising for the length of time it had been since it had been tuned. And the so-nice piano tuner opened up the piano and ...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manolos the mouse, with the opening of the Latin hymn 'Dies Irae'

For there I was — or rather, not I but my mark, for I chewed halfway through some keys, the first four notes of the Dies Irae, in fact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I, Manolos, world's greatest mouse, I have returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You thought you had gotten rid of me — this was not the case — I surfaced in your house in Crete — I, Manolos!!! — and now you learn that I am resurrected, yes, I Manolos, the eternal, the greatest, the immortal mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will never escape me. I will haunt every house you buy — yes, even the house you contemplate buying for your daughter — you will never be rid of me.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your nemesis,
Manolos

Ask Alice

Alice McVeighDear Manolos,

Can't you just piss off and die?

Alice

Ask Alice

Manolos the mouseDear Alice,

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For I am the great, the incomparable, the one and only MANOLOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I nibble the piano keys ... I taste the morsel of felt YUM YUM YUM ... You will never know when next I will appear ... for I am ...

Ask Alice

[Keith-the-editor: You've done this bit already, mouse!]

Ask Alice

Manolos the mouseDear Keith, and you are 'dear' for it is you who named me!!!!

... for I am MANOLOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Manolos the mouse

Copyright © 8 May 2015 Alice McVeigh, Kent UK

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ASK ALICE — CLASSICAL MUSIC'S AGONY AUNT

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'Elgar and Chivalry' by Robert Anderson - available now from Elgar.org