My daughter sent this to me the other day and I think it's hilarious, so I wanted to share it with the list:

YTMND -- 'Carmina Burana', alternate lyrics

Enjoy,
Ron Chaplin

Yes, it corpsed me -- and my (horn-player) daughter.
HIGHLY recommended!!!!!
Alice

Hi Alice,
I've just sold an old cello and a Tourte bow which has ivory on it for $631 on eBay Australia -- I don't know anything about these instruments, is this a good price?

LV,
Australia

Dear LV,

Not a clue, without seeing the bow in person, although if it really is a Tourte (assuming it isn't pinned or otherwise broken) it's certainly worth a lot more than that. (Of course, a friend of mine who worked on Antiques Roadshow told me that EVERY SINGLE WEEK 95 people of every possible age and educational level would show up, clutching a 'Strad'. ('Well, it SAYS Strad inside!', they would invariably point out, before being told that they make 'Strads' like that in China every minute and a half.)

As for the 'old cello' -- well, a Guarneri is certainly an old cello, but I'm guessing that yours needs plenty of work to make it even playable. Not a clue, really, on whether it was worth six hundred Aussie dollars or not. Sorry not to be more helpful, but this is partly why I don't advise string players to buy on eBay. You need to see a string instrument in person -- unlike, say, a French horn. (I bought my daughter two horns on eBay in the UK and her teacher was really impressed, but then, all you need with a horn is a good reputable brand -- such as Yamaha -- and really good feedback from the seller, and then you're laughing ... lucky brass players!!!!!!!)
Yours cellistically,
Alice